Dishes

I was feeling lazy tonight and didn't want to do my dishes before bed. However, my desire to not get up and face them in the morning overcame it and I got them done. I mention this because as I did them, I went down memory lane. I recalled that when I moved out of my parents' place, I never went anywhere, did anything without having my dishes done first. As few as they were compared to my sinks full now should have made little difference in my life. I kept my friends waiting many times while I did them "real quick."
Once I was married and we had Alana, if I left the house without getting everything done my gut would fill with dread on our way home. I would frequently ask Mike to keep on driving, right pass our apartment just in hopes that a little fairy would come by to do the housework I had left undone. Of course, the fairy never showed and eventually we would go home. Only when I got the work done would there be any relief, and yes I was usually cranky and short with anyone in my way until that time as well.
Though I still desire a clean home, it is not all consuming. I think. I try to put priorities first, but the days of lovely weather are still sometimes wasted indoors cleaning instead of taking the girls to the park. I have piles. Stuff that needs to either be put away or sorted through. They drive me crazy but I still allow them to simmer for maybe a week or so before finally putting them to rights. Maybe that is just in my genes, if anyone knows my family. And yes, many times, I am still frustrated with my work load and take it out on anyone nearby. To all these and so much more, I am still guilty.
So, how much have I changed? I don't really have that overwhelming dread sweep over me on the way home. I try to involve my girls instead of pushing them aside and letting me do it 'the right way.' I try to recall that my work is for the Lord and not my own selfish reasons. However, that didn't stop me from cleaning for all the wrong reasons the other week when a family member came to visit that I hadn't seen in a long time. The point is, I still struggle and that God isnt' done with me yet. I am still a work in progress. I still fret over germs, I still want everything in its' place, I still want control over my life. But Who is in charge? Who has control over whether we get sick? Who knows when we are struggling and want to go off the right path? Who's the Boss? Amen! Next time I want to complain about my job or be lazy over doing the dishes, I need to remember that I can't fill God's position. Because he has to correct, teach, mold and fix me! Along with all the other crazy people He shepherds. Praise God for his patience, diligence, grace, faithfulness and perseverance in pursuing us! Praise Him for the simple sink of dishes, that can bring us to His feet.

Colossians 3:23-24 (New International Version)

²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.