Recap of our week? Well, let's say, we need a redo. We started off well then as life got busy, we were away from home, out to birthday parties, dinner parties, and extra work and the inability to just catch up on daily stuff, it slowly died!
The first 4 days were good. It wasn't as traumatic for me, as it was already what I was used to , as long as I was being good. Harder for the girls as everything has sugar in it, even ketchup. So, the main focus for them was staying off highly processed foods and sugar. Day 6 and 7 were a complete wash! Day 8, so far, no happening. I am upset, depressed, overwhelmed, and have a "don't care attitude."
We made a great stew on day 4 or 5, which was great but caused me some issues for the next 48 hours. Not sure, but I am wondering about my bodies ability to handle mushrooms. I have noticed somethings with some of my favorites that are by all means healthy and whole; spinach, pineapple, and mushrooms. Strangely, as I was experiencing these issues, I came across an ad on Facebook talking about some digestive aid that helped people with a diagnosed issue that pertained to the above 3 foods mentioned, and strawberries. Great! What is next? Stick me in a bubble and feed me through a tube some ultra purified water and vitamins, as long as I can handle those too!
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be in the bathroom the rest of my life. I also don't want to see the psoriasis take over my body again, die young because my body wears out because it is working so hard to produce skin and fight off the foods I am eating. Nor do I want to be exhausted, experience migraines, be moody, have foggy thinking, inability to concentrate, other personal and bathroom issues I don't care to discuss at the moment. But what gives?? I want to be able to eat! I want to be able to enjoy the foods God gave us, and yes, the foods that man has made that taste oh, so good! In my self pity- I cry out, "Is this really too much to ask?"
Frustratingly, the answer may be 'yes.' I know that it wasn't suppose to be like this. We were created to be in communion with the earth as we were to be in communion with God. But because of sin it can't be like that. There is comfort that when I die, and for the rest of eternity, which is a very long time, I can be with Christ and I will be able to eat anything and everything in Heaven. Nothing will make me sick, I will not have sinful desires to eat when I am not hungry or when I am stressed. My life is so short in comparison, but I am in the here and now too and I am a selfish human that wants what I want too. Forgive me.
Where do I find the balance? The peace? Where do I find that instruction booklet that came with my human body to tell me what to eat and what not to and is there a section for recipes??
I need prayer.
Thank you for reading. I am not sure where I am going from here, but I hope to keep trying.
With God's Grace,
Jess
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