Break down and praises

Today is day 9 but I have to go back to day 8 since it was different than the rest. First, I had a hard boiled egg in the morning. Wasn't a break down, necessarily, I had the intention and knew what I was doing. I consider a break down as an overwhelming physical and emotional crack in the dam of willpower that you are compelled to do it, you have no other choice. Perhaps, my definition is just my life saver that blinds me to the facts, but I stand by it.

Secondly, Mike wanted to meet with the girls and I and go out. (His update, he is trying but is not exclusive by any means) So, we went to Olive Garden, probably my ultimate favorite restaurant. I thought ahead and was going to get the salad. As I have expressed before, I like vegetables, but I like my dressing more. Thinking Italian is oil and spices, I thought it would probably be fine, since those are both on the ok list. I left the croutons off and enjoyed my salad.
That said, I have to admit to my emotional break down (tears welled) as we were about to order. The sense of this juicing being everlasting, as there is no real 'end date' was far too much for me to take in. I don't know how long 'enough' is for my body and for my diseases. I have no idea when my body will have a complete reboot and my life will be sweeter. My lovely daughter was very quick to remind me that, it is only for this life, and that when I die, it will all be gone. So wise and true, but that doesn't erase my desire to be healthy in every way possible for the now. All this was just too much. but I pulled myself together to order and enjoy the meal that was set before us.

I also have to admit, that at the very end, I did take a bit of bread. Just enough for about 2 bites. The bread wasn't even that great, but the garlic butter on my lips was fabulous.

So, I am back to day 9. Updates and praises! I have stayed steady at the 10 lb weight lose. It is threshold, I have sat here before. Hopefully it will break soon. I have noticed that since the start, the swelling in my ankles have disappeared! It used to come anytime I had a high sodium meal, like Chinese; and would come on quickly, like it was just sitting at the door waiting. For the most part, I have more energy. I am not crashing in the afternoon but that could be, at least partly, because I am out the door by 12 to bring Emily to science camp everyday this week and hanging out at the park until 3. However, when I do go to sleep at night, my body is so ready for it and falls asleep quickly. Another blessing, is my face is so much clearer! Yesterday and today, there is barely even a pink area where my psoriasis is usually present. I am sure all the sun I have had this past week has helped, so I am looking forward to seeing if it lasts or not. But no matter what, God has shown His presence to me all 8 days. I am not overcome with cravings, like I thought I would be. I can take things in stride and have not been overly cranky with my family either. The hunger has been manageable and almost non-existent. I look forward to continuing.

Matthew 6:9-13

⁹ “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,

¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.