Struggeling and starting anew

        It has been ages since I've written. I admit it was on some conscience level to hide the back sliding I have practiced since the summer came. I didn't fall completely off the wagon, but have had many 'cheats' as we call them. Some times were bigger than others and I paid the price for them. Pain, nausea, bathroom issues and some areas of my psoriasis has returned, along with some mild pain from fibromyalgia. I also have noticed that when I have a cheat, I need more sleep. My body trying to digest what it can't. So, I am here, to reveal, that to no great surprise to anyone, that I am imperfect and the guidelines for my eating had finally gotten to me.
       Though I still believe in all that I learned and experienced, the food rut I found myself in was mind numbing, or at least taste bud numbing. You can only eat beans, rice, chicken, vegetables, and fruit in so many ways. Beginning this week, I am back to whole foods and saying no to that which tempt me. However, I am happy to announce that, thanks to Pinterest and some other great websites, I have some new recipes in my artillery  that will prove useful when I desire something forbidden.Since so many have asked about my adventures in cooking and baking, I will strive to blog about it. That means I will have to actually find the joy in cooking again, and not fear the mistakes and failures which end in my 'wasting' food. I will bring forth the good, the bad and the ugly.
        Baking and sometimes cooking is like chemistry. You have to put the right ingredients together to get the perfect outcome. When many of the bases of a compound are changed, it changes the whole concoction. Eliminating gluten, dairy, egg, and sugar; the 4 most fundamental ingredients in American cooking; proves to be complicated, challenging and the results are many times less than desirable. The other parameters will be no pork, alcohol, and avoiding soy. You have just mentally checked off all your favorites, haven't you? Are we having fun yet? No? Ok, well, let me list some of the alternatives because that is going to open up the playground!

Gluten/wheat: Very difficult to do exchanges. Wheat has such a fabulous texture and abilities that it brings that one other flour can not duplicate. However, with a mix of flours and some help from gums, it can be close.  ex. Amaranth, Almond flour/meal, Garbanzo, Fava, Sorghum, White and Brown Rice flour, Sweet Rice Flour, Coconut flour, etc. Gums are gaur gum and xanthan gum.

Dairy: Pretty easy to replace, but some things are just not the same. Butter is really hard and sadly the only one that comes close is made with soy; Earth Balance.
  Yogurt: almond yogurt, coconut yogurt (my fav)
   Sour Cream: plain coconut yogurt
   Milk: almond milk, rice milk, coconut milk
   Sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk: I found some recipes, will have to try using coconut,  rice, or almond milk.
   Ice Cream: Rice cream, coconut ice cream

Egg: Another fantastic ingrediant that is hard to replace. There are lots of options and depending on the job the egg does for the recipe (structure, moisture, flavor, texture), and what flavors will prevail, will dictate what you want to use. 
    Flax + water: probably the one I use the most; meatloaf, cupcakes, pancakes 
    Chia + water
    Banana
    Yogurt
    Apple Sauce
    Vegetable oil
    Pureed Fruits
    Gelatin
    Vinegar and baking powder
    Potato Starch
    Arrowroot
    Corn starch
    Mashed potatoes
    Rice
    Oatmeal
A great website is: http://chefinyou.com/egg-substitutes-cooking/

Sugar: Refined sugars are so bad. (yes, keep telling yourself this!) Thankfully, I have found some healthier alternatives. 
      Pure Maple Syrup
      Raw Honey
      Agave
      Stevia, would prefer green raw, but can't find any with a price i am willing to pay yet. 
      Coconut sugar
      Date sugar
      Fruits
      Brown Rice Syrup
   (Xylitol would be a great sub, but since it is still from sugar (it is the sugar alcohol), I stay away from it. )


Now, that I have either tantalized your brain with possibilities or you got bored, skipped the above and have begun reading again, I will start with the first recipe I tried the other day from Pinterest.

Brazilian un-cheese bread:

¾ cup dairy-free milk (I used rice milk)
½ cup red pepper hummus 

 1 cup almond flour, packed
2/3 cup tapioca flour
2 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
2 tsp coconut flour

Directions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease or line one large baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, add milk and then hummus, stirring until fairly well mixed.

Add almond flour, tapioca flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix well.

Add coconut flour. Mix and let sit for about 3 to 5 minutes, until batter is visibly thicker---like biscuit dough---when stirred.

Drop a heaping teaspoon of batter onto the baking sheet and then drop a little more on top of that. That second dollop of batter on top the first is important. Without it, your biscuits will be too thin and cook too quickly. (Using a larger serving utensil like an ice cream scoop might be a workable solution that would allow one “dollop” only, but I didn’t try that.) When dropped, batter will not spread past a 3-inch radius, and will not spread further when baked. So batter for the biscuits may be dropped fairly close together.

Bake for about 10 to 12 minutes. Tops will take on a light golden appearance and look done, and bottoms of biscuits will be a nice even brown.

Makes about one dozen 3-inch biscuits

1st try: garbage, I didn't read the ingredients close enough, my girls were helping and we added 2 c of coconut flour instead of 2 tsp. Since I had not the time or ingredients to multiply the recipe by 46, I had to toss it. ;(

2nd try: Alone, now, they came out well. Like small pancakes. They have the chewy cheesy like center that this bread is known for. I don't think I cared for the hummus though. There was a funny taste that I couldn't pinpoint. Someone believes it was the tahini. I did think it would be good with a little garlic and made into sandwiches. Which I found to be true, just sprinkled some garlic powder on top of the buns before cooking them.

3rd try: I changed it up. I subbed pumpkin puree for the humus, used sweetened vanilla almond milk, added about a tablespoon of pumpkin pie spice. After the first trial bun, I added 2 more tsp of coconut flour, 1 tsp of vanilla and about 1/3 cup of agave. They had some sort of after taste too, but not as strong and I can't blame the tahini. Not sure what it is, but my almond flour is a bit old. I heat them up and eat them with agave, like a pancake and they are decent that way. 

Recipe one down. Hope you will join me next time and please, if you find a recipe you would like me to give a try, don't hesitate to suggest. 

Have a fabulous day!

Ecclesiastes 3:13
And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

Late Night- update

It is the end of January and I am so glad to see some snow on the ground after our brown Christmas. Just doesn't feel right unless I get a suntan simultaneously. The holiday stresses are over, there is almost no sugar in the house again, and my mother-in-law is back in Hungary until Summer. It was so fun to have here for the two weeks. I would say she learned a lot about new habits and we all loved to have her join in our daily workouts. Reminds me of how far I have come already. It was hard seeing some bread enter the house, but it wasn't as hard to resist it as I thought. I just kept my eyes forward.

Speaking of moving forward, after almost 7 weeks of a plateau, I finally hit the big 50! I was very happy. It has since added another 4. I am getting there, slowly but surely. I look forward to the warmer weather to be more active outdoors. I plan on buying a bike! Something upright, so it doesn't bother my carpal tunnel. So pray that the right one comes along. I feel so left out when the girls ride and I come chugging along behind them walking as fast as my short little legs will go. Which, compared to most in my family, isn't fast at all.

On another slow subject, referring to healing; I have been pretty good lately. I believe it was the sugar that was causing a lot of my pain that I mentioned in my last post. The psoriasis has been pretty steady and I am thinking of yet again, eliminating another possible source.

The next two culprits could be soy and corn. When you have no wheat, those two take over in any processed food. Now, I know you have no life of your own, so you must be keeping a list somewhere, but just in case it has been misplaced, I have already eliminated gluten (wheat), sugar, eggs and dairy. And because I know you are so curious as to the most common allergies, I will not keep you in suspense; they are:

• Milk
• Eggs
• Peanuts
• Tree nuts (such as almonds, cashews, walnuts)
• Fish (such as bass, cod, flounder)
• Shellfish (such as crab, lobster, shrimp)
• Soy
• Wheat

90 percent of allergic reactions are caused by these eight foods. Corn is not accounted among them, but it is growing in numbers.

For those that have been asking me about where I have begun my studies on foods, please check out the following documentaries. After seeing them, I did research online and just went from there.

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

Forks Over Knives

Food, INC.

Ingredients

So with my family mostly on board, (did I tell that Emily is hanging tight to her bread?) it has been really nice to make meals together and really focus on what our bodies need. I am slowly moving the girls to eat, well, like me. Fruit in the morning, veggies throughout the day, and a little meat here and there. Oh, did you see on FB that Emily is eating cauliflower? The long lost vegetable that as little ones Alana would eat but soon forbid it from her plate and Emily would do the same? I tried roasting them like I do our potato fries. I cut them up, drizzle olive oil just enough for a LIGHT layer and stir in a little salt and pepper. You bake them at 400 for about 30 minutes. You can do this to carrots, broccoli, potatoes, and sweet potatoes. Very nummy!

Anyway, it is rather late, as it is 3 AM! No idea why I am still up. God bless everyone and have a fabulous weekend!

No End, But New Beginnings

I have no direction for this blog entry, but I guess I will know where it will go, as I take each step in dumping all the words floating around. So please bear with my rambling.

It is almost Christmas and I am surprised at where I find myself this year. I have been researching and equipping myself with recipes and options of gluten free living for months now. I also get to include dairy and egg free options. AND now through baking a few options of Christmas goodies, I see sugar being an issue as well. Something I hadn't had all this time. It is so much fun. (hear my sarcasm?) I have a smoothie every morning and juice in the evening usually. I have cut off the sugar train and plan to juice fast after Christmas. Any cookies not eaten by others at Christmas, will be frozen and saved for those moments when Alana needs a little something in place of another gluten goodie.

I fear there will be no end to what I have to give up. As I have encounter my first person without compassion to the needs of myself and Alana, there is no end to what I get to put up with too. I don't want the world to bend over backwards, but I would like people to see the possibilities that help us to feel included along with everyone else. Especially for Alana. She is at that age where fitting in and acceptance is so important.

Anyway, my collection of recipes is extensive and yet it includes the same main ingredients of whole meats, spices, vegetables and fruits. There are some baked goods that will be used for church functions and birthdays of course. I have some recipes for bread, that I am eager to try but haven't found time to, so maybe this coming week as we take some time off from school.

Alana has been doing very well on her new diet. Did I mention that she has decided to do it long term? It has been about 2 months now. She hasn't been cheating and is mindful of what she can and can't have. A 'side-effect' of her new diet has her staying dry throughout the night for more than a month now, something Alana has struggled with her whole life. Alana enjoys the all natural gluten free macaroni cheese we found and the chicken sausages at Costco. We are able to make lots of old favorites like chili, chicken noodle soup, tacos and fajitas with some modifications. It has been great overall.

I have been doing alright. The pain has returned about 3/4 of before. Lack of sunlight? Not juicing as often? That last 2 weeks, too much sugar? I don't know. I just make do. I am 42 lbs down. Yeah! (Men turn away for the rest of this paragraph, please?) And not as surprising as Alana's blessing, because I knew that GF diet can change this, but my monthly cycle has corrected itself. I have dealt with extended heavy bleeding that would last 2-3 months at a time since I had Alana. For anyone that deals with issues, they need to try changing their diet. You will see results with 1-2 weeks.

I have been slowly making over everything in house to cater to this new life. I can't say Mike is thrilled, he eats mostly at work anyway. ;) Emily has been doing pretty well but she has always been my bread eater so she makes more noise over her gluten wants.We can basically have everything normal, but just in a different form or a different product that is better.

We will have a challenge coming up with my mother-in-law coming home for Christmas. She will get an eye opening education when she gets here.

So, there is no end, but there are new beginnings as I venture to find what makes my body work and what holds it back. As I learn these, I find new evidence and proof that what I am doing is better for myself. Did you know that even if you are gluten sensitive it is still a form of Celiac and that by not treating it, you could have a higher risk of certain cancers? You could struggle with infertility? Skin diseases and acne are signs of what is going on on the inside; you need to clean it out if you want the outside to be in good shape.
Sorry, I went off and will get off my soap box now. (but really, you need to try it) Have a blessed Christmas everyone and remember the reason why a child was born in a stable so many years ago.

Luke 2:1-20

The Birth of Jesus

¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while^[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

"It tastes green."

My journey is continuing down a road that I do not know where it leads or if it will ever end. However, I have some company, if only for a brief while. Alana has decided, without prodding, to join the gluten-free lifestyle on a trial basis for one week. She is not partaking on the multiple juices but is drinking the fruit juices and trying the others. Alana has suffered with headaches, migraines, aches and pains from growing, funny tummy, bathroom issues and sadly, has psoriasis. This last ailment was the deciding factor for her.

I say she is doing well. Of course, she is missing her bread and macaroni, but overall, she is a trooper. I am hoping for a longer commitment but am grateful for a trial run. A couple years ago, when migraines were running amok, we took Alana to see doctors and a neurologist. Their recommendations were so invasive that I ran the other direction. We took her to see a naturalist and was told to eliminate a multitude of foods from her diet. Talk about stress! It was so bad, I was so uninformed, and I was a wreck. It didn't last long.

This time, I have my own experience to bring to the table. I have more knowledge and understanding, 'cleared' (Gluten-free terminology for foods that are clean) foods in my kitchen and books of recipes to call on. I have praised God that I am in the here and now where there are options and many accommodations made for people with allergies/sensitivities.

I did inform Alana that her choice for GF was great but that her results may not be as quick as mine because she is not juicing. The micro-nutrients are so needed for your body to heal. I had each of the girls have some of the juice I made tonight, informing them that it tasted like lemonade. Alana, agreed, but then made a funny face telling me that there was a spinach after-taste. I said I didn't put spinach in it. Then, Emily speaks up and says, "Mom, there is definitely a green taste to it." If colors had a flavor, I am sure it would taste just like spinach. (BTW, it was the Kale they were tasting.) I said if they did it for a week, they wouldn't even notice it. They drank their 1/2 cups worth and that is all I wanted.

So, keep your prayers with Alana and our family. God bless!

It came and went

I planned on doing a big over view and update when day 60 came of my juicing journey. Well, it finally came,... 4 days ago. Ha, I didn't even notice.

It took me almost the whole 60 days to figure out portions and how much to buy. But I think I have it down now. Now, we have to remember, that I am not just buying for myself, there are three others doing it off and on. And two don't do the veggies that much and fruit gets expensive. Here is a run down of a regular haul that lasts 7-10 days
Costco:
case of Oranges
3 pineapples
2 strawberries
2 lbs of grapes
3 lbs of bananas
lg bin spinach
bag of broccoli
bag of baby cucumbers
lg bin of lettuce
10lbs of organic carrots (this lasts about a month)
5-7 lbs of apples

Rainbow:
3 green bell peppers
2-3 grapefruits
7 limes
2 sweet potatoes
2 bunches parsley
2 bunches kale
2-3 lemons
2-3 beets

There are few seasonal items here and there but this is the gist of it. When I make a juice I cram it with a little of everything. I want the most for the least. This is about $115. Then another 50-75 on top of that to get bread, eggs, milk and things for the kids and my organic gluten free stuff. That is about $700/month! Now, you can get cheaper things, not go organic or even do the fruit, or go for celery (I can't stand the stuff) and not so many leafy items but this is what I choose to do.
We are saving money on gas, now that school has started; out to eat is like nil, we have cut off the cable, reduced our bills as far as we can, and doing without a lot of "extra" things. We are managing and it is worth it....

Yesterday, I ate out twice out of necessity. Now I followed a GF style and ate mostly veggies but there were a few things that I normally don't eat thrown in (sour cream and very sugary salad dressing). Last night and today, I am paying for it. I am in a lot of pain. Many researchers are starting to believe that Fibromyalgia is caused by a build up of toxins in your body. Toxins that come from processed foods, pesticides and garbage of an American diet. I see the true proof of that. When I am juicing, I don't have as much pain. And when I do wake up in pain, I recover a lot faster; like 20 minutes verses 2 hours!

If I just juice, my psoriasis is a lot better. Although, it is confusing when I do fudge, that it is a crap shoot as to whether I have a flare up or not. It is not consistent at all. I do know that hormones play a part and there is nothing I can do about that. Overall though, if I wasn't juicing, I know that it would be getting continually worse.

The extra benefit is weight loss. Now, I had hoped to be much farther along in that area, but I know that I am building muscle too as I am tracking my measurements. So even if I lose only 3 lbs, I would lose 5-6 inches. I am great with that. The slower it is the better the body recovers and wants to keep it that way. I am just happy of the direction I am going. I love getting out and walking with the girls and I love doing my workout videos and trying new ones from the library. I am so happy that my girls are older and not only can I have that time to myself to do it, but that they are old enough and join me once in a while too.

All in all, my friends, juicing will be a way of life for me. I won't always be as strict but I do know that I can't stop. I enjoy it and miss it when I don't juice. My body craves the nutrition. Since it is the only body I get, I might as well take care of it.

God bless you all and keep you. May your days be filled with His love and care.

1 Cor. 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Fighting a good Fight

Life is a struggle. I am sure everyone has heard that before, but it really is more like a battle, don't you think? This juicing journey has had it's battles and I have not always won. I feel like I am standing on a battle field and single handedly combating the enemies of Fibromyalgia, Psoriasis and their armies of weakness, pain, gluttony, temptation, worldly acceptance, fatigue, 'normalcy', genetics, confusion and more. The enemy is overwhelming. And yet, I am fighting alone, only because I really can't have someone else fight for me. Though, I have allies, I feel they sit in the safety of the ditch behind me and when the enemy overcomes me, I am able to withdraw into the the comfort of their arms and recoup. There are many there, family and friends and of course, God.

I was thinking about Him. How the verses say that He is on our side and who stand against us when He is for us? I know, that without a doubt, all my enemies would be wiped out in a second, if God wanted them to. And I do pray and ask that He will. But I am not upset when He doesn't. (honestly, most of the time, I don't) I know He loves me and I know that He cares. I know that for whatever reason He has me continue to fight, it is for the best and is it for His glory. He is my biggest Allie. He gives me strength to continue, heals my wounds, gives me reasoning and deduction when I need to figure out the causes of a 'wound.' God, my Father, is there; I am not alone. He allows the enemy to come only so far; His hand blocks their attempt at gaining more ground. He has given me the tools/weapons to fight and the know-how. How AWESOME is He?

It is day 52. I am not as far along as I would have like to be. I have increased my activity and my calories slightly to about 1300/day. I sit at a total of 27 pounds lost. I have discovered that wheat is an issue and recently something in a chocolate covered almond is a culprit for a terrible relapse in psoriasis this week. It may be the coating, the dexitrin (corn) or a positive reaction to the chocolate. Iam cleansing for a few days to rid my body of that, and will allow my hubby and children to enjoy what I thought would be an occasional treat for myself. The girls are doing well and holding steady. They are liking many of my gluten free foods over their own items. They are becoming savvy shoppers. They now read labels and if they don't know what something is, they just say, "If you don't know what it is or can't say it, why put it in your body?" I am so proud of them. Mike is doing very well. He works out every day and is trying to hard to eat healthy and juice with me. He has lost more than I have, as men usually do, and I am very proud of him too.

Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. They are part of my army. God bless you!

Romans 8:31, 32
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Update- Day 40!

Yes, day 40, that means I am still juicing! Forgive me for not writing in quite some time. We had a week of getting ready for school and indulging myself in scrap-booking and then we had our first week of school and girl scouts starting up. It has been very busy around here.

Here is the scoop. I am very frustrated. I have been juicing now for 40 days, which has been great for the most part. The source of my aggravation comes with eating. Funny isn't it? I have been testing some foods to see what I get a reaction from, mainly internally (don't need to explain) or externally with my psoriasis. The thing of it is, sometimes I get a reaction and sometimes I don't. What? You would think that if there is a trigger, it would shoot every time, not give me blanks now and then, this isn't Russian Roulette!

Ok, deep sigh,....I have read that there can be false positives and negatives. Either are a pain. So, the closest conclusions I can make are these:

I have never had a reaction to any kind of nut.
I have never had a reaction to chicken.
I have had fish once, and looked great the next day.
I have had cheese, dairy in my salad dressing and eggs; these go either way, but for the most part, no reactions.
Ohh, I had a piece of chocolate at a friend's, and no reaction! (Tooting a horn: 37 days without chocolate!, that is huge for me!!!)

That is where I stand in my juicing/eating.

As far as my weight, that has been another source of frustration. I have sat for the last 3 weeks or so. Going up and down a few pounds but always the same. I had increased activity; I am walking longer and getting faster; but no real weight loss. I even went swimming! Nada. So, I figured that my calories are too low. When I looked into it a long time ago, just to keep my body functioning, it would need about 2200 calories/day. My taking in about 800-1000 was probably putting my body into starvation mode. So, for the last few days, I juiced once and ate salads, chicken, and my gluten free bread. My weight has started to go down again, I am back to that 20 pound mark and am looking forward to it continuing down. That update will have to wait a week.

Now everyone knows where I am at. I have to share the lesson that I was relenting to last week and a friend of mine hit on when I was talking to her Sunday. I need to not focus on the weight, but the fact that I am feeding my body the foods it needs to be healthy and God will help with the rest. That was my initial spur, eating right, to help heal my body. Not the weight loss, though that is needed and certainly a great benefit, but not the main purpose.
Little redundant, but I need to be reminding myself.

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.